Nine Years Later

from 2012

Every summer, around the end of July, I feel like I loose control of my emotions for a while. I am inconsolably sad, I cry inexplicably.  Something feels off. Last year I talked to my friend Bear about this and Bear reminded me that next time, I should remember to take extra care of myself.  It is my birthday time, which I get outwardly excited about while being inwardly anxious (thinking about life choices and all).  Then, a few weeks later is the anniversary of one of the most disruptive events in my life.  Tomorrow is the ninth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and it is still the storm I am referring to when I say "the hurricane".  I lost friends in a few ways because of it, and I also experienced some of the greatest love and strength and resourcefulness I have known, in the years following.  This year I was ready.  But then, I was in North Carolina, making paper and swimming in a river. The sadness didn't come the way it has.  Other friends have told me about nine year cycles, about recovering from PTSD, about healing.  Maybe this is the year I can see some of this with clarity.  But not from the internet.  So tomorrow, I am taking the day off.  Since losing my job, I have had more time for book binding and preparing for the SF Zine Fest  (Saturday! Sunday! in San Francisco)
and more time for listening to the news, and searching for a new job but also a lot of time on the internet procrastinating. I'm going outside to take advantage of the temeprate and dry California (drought) summer.  Take care y'a'll.  And I'll see you soon. 

Doing the Important Work

looking away from the kitchen

My friends own land in North Carolina near the Tennessee border.  It is a wonderland of gardens and herbs and wildlife and smart people. They study herbal medicine and are working to build a place with herbal gardens, a library, an apothecary and ways to share their information with others.  All of these beautiful things are happening there but when I visit, I seem to mostly nap.  Which is also important work.  But photographs of napping are not very interesting.  

the ceiling of Janet's kitchen.  posters she made and 2 prints by Lauren Scanlon

I loved sitting under this skylight

View from the napping place

gooodnight!

 Janet and Dave are Medicine County Herbs. 
They are knowledgeable, experienced and solid folks.  In my brief visit we talked a lot about the state of things in New Orleans, where we all met, but also about anxiety and allergies.  Their website has many more photos taken on sunny days.  Though I'd be a fool to complain about having such a great place to visit on rainy days too.

While I Was Away

Middle Tennessee

I'm back in Oakland after five weeks of visiting friends, family, papermaking and skygazing.  Also in the the whirlwind, I turned 37, lost my job and someone used my social security number to watch a lot of satallitie tv. It's been an exciting summer. I have so much to tell you about but I am still unpacking, sorting, napping, baking cookies.  But here are some celestial highlights of the past few weeks.

later from the same lawn chair

the light of god on the atlantic ocean

hazy Tennessee evening

Middle Tennesse.  I sat in a chair, watched the sky and drank wine.  Happy summer.